O.K. So last night I had the pleasure of engaging in a some "insightful" conversation with my two teenagers.....context: I have three children, two of whom are teenagers. they consider themselves to be my junior therapists as I had them very young and have raised them to have alot of input in my day to day life (which is not pretty normal for most parents, but I'm not your average anything, so this should not come as a surprise) See there I go again, being arrogant, I may need to re-read my humility blog, but anywho......My little consultants were teasing me last night because I've been on a fast for the last 13 days. I made a promise at my church that I would fast in solidarity with the other members in the hopes that my faith would be strengthened and my life's purpose might become a little more clear to me. I also have had this overwhelming feeling to get closer to the big guy upstairs and so why not starve myself a little to get there?
Sound a little quirky? Well, basically my kids think that all churches are cults and they see this fasting thing as just another way churches show their power (I made the drastic mistake of telling them that this is a nationwide thing (lol); apparently alot of churches are doing this 21 day fast, not just us). At any rate, my daughter asked me why I was doing it and I told her that I felt like I needed discipline......she retorted, "wow mom, of all the people who need discipline, don't think it's you.....I mean personally I think the only people who need to fast are the sinners, they're the only people who feel like they need to cleanse, what a cop out!" I looked at her in complete shock, but then I realized, gee, this girl just had an epiphany, I mean really, the main reason why churches have so much power over people is because they have a genuine way of making you feel guilty about being a normal human person who makes mistakes, most folks who go to these places of worship rarely do so because they genuinely love god, more so they do it to feel validated, political,social connections and/or cleansing as my daughter so keenly put.
What she said, particularly about the "sinner" factor, really made me think. See I consistently go without alot for the sake of giving someone else happiness or joy,I also watch many of my friends do the same. I could be totally wrong, but in my view, what it boils down to is this idea of validation, it seems that most people who aim to please get a genuine sense of satisfaction from others, but then there are those great many whom simply do the right thing because they are seeking for someone whom will pat them on the back for what they've done. I cant help but think that it's something that should be explored a little further. See most successful people frequently do for themselves and only them.....they rarely do for others because they truly understand the power of rewarding themselves, albeit at an extreme sometimes, but they reward themselves for everything, even the little things.
Today I'm realizing that self denial is a thing that most people do because their whole lives they go through it having to please someone. I wonder how much of this we learn in our childhood interactions? See many of us are raised by parents who expect us to do well all the time and chastise us heavily for not measuring up. I know this is starting to sound like a pity party but it's really not....I just want you to really think about it, if you're the type of person who pleases others all the time and deny yourself simple pleasures, think about why you do that. Most times, when people dont reach the expectations that others have set for them and feel like they don't measure up they overcompensate by being extremely "good". Now, you may not fall into this category, but if you do, I urge you to explore it because there's something to be said for that.......take a little time today and reflect, have you been good to yourself today, this week or this year? if not, take a moment to plan something or indulge in a rare treat that you might not other wise, it's good for the soul man! Like NIKE, just do it! because it's a SoulSmart thing to do and never forget, What's good for the Soul is Smart!
Sending you many hugs and love,
Niurka
No comments:
Post a Comment